Psychic reading

My friends had a 40th b-day party last weekend. Part of the festivities included a psychic doing individual readings. What a gift! I have always been too nervous to go into some stranger's house and ask private random questions, but because it was my friend's house; it felt comfortable.

I stuck my name on the list as fast as I could.

She was a large friendly woman with jewel necklaces and a purple shirt. She gently took my hand once I sat down and held it in her soft clasp, closing her eyes. She asked a few questions: single or married? where do you live? kids? job?

After a moment she said she saw me clearly, somewhere where there were cherry blossoms, maybe Virginia or DC. "It is a past life" she said, "and you are writing at a desk." (I had told her I was a nurse and a writer)

Then a little girl ran through the room and the psychic laughed and said, "Hold on! I just lost what I had. She ran in- and off I went with her."

Then she looked back up at me and said, "Oh that's funny! That doesn't usually happen! I just saw you in a nun's habit. You were a nun."
I laughed loud just because I really did know that; deep down. After a few moments she continued, saying I had a long monastic tradition and that I had "walked with the saints."

Then she added, "You have a very strong a very strong connection to the Divine Mother." She was looking up over my left shoulder, seeming pleased..

She said that writing was something I'd done well and could do again, but she seemed a bit bored with that. She talked about lots of other interesting things and then she said with a tired smile, "Really, with that connection to the Divine Mother you can do anything!"

Huh

I asked if she had any suggestions for making contact with the Divine Mother and she laughed and pointed above and around me and said, "She's right there. Really, she's all around you. You just can't use your head. You have to use your heart. You have to seek."

I might have looked frustrated because I feel like I have been seeking.

She offered, "You have to find out what works for you. I walk in the woods and after 45 minutes insight comes to me."

Huh

I've never thought much about past lives, but sort of believe in reincarnation. I don't know what I believe, but at Wellspring House I had just finished revising a personal essay from last year where I wrote:

“I’ve always wanted to be a nun,” I told her as I gathered my papers. “Not a Christian one, but a Buddhist one or some witch in some secret ancient coven on a medieval island. Maybe I was one in another life. I can really imagine walking in a line toward a temple, something.”

So, I was struck by the parallel there. That's the only reference I've ever made to another life!
She said lots of other compelling things that I am still filtering..

I can't believe I didn't ask her if I would have any more children. But maybe I didn't want to hear her answer.

Already, this odd experience has shifted some burden.
If this life is not my only life and if I've spent entire lives meditating and praying then I can really focus on being a mom and wife this time. It made me feel less tight and cranky about alone time. "Oh come on! You've had years of quiet time! Buck up!" I felt myself saying to myself, even just the next day.

I was feeling puzzled, so I did what I do when I'm not sure what to do.

I checked by beloved Rob Breszny's horoscope a few days later:
http://www.freewillastrology.com/horoscopes/sagittarius.html

If at some future time you sell your life story to a filmmaker who makes it into a feature film, it may have a lot to do with adventures that kick into high gear in the coming weeks. The fun will start (I hope) when you decide not to merely lie back and be victimized by your signature pain any longer. This brave act will recalibrate the cosmic scales and shift the currents of destiny that flow through you. Soon you will be making progress in untangling a mystery that has eluded your insight for a long time. You will be able to uncover the guarded secrets of a source that has for some time been tweaking your personal power without your full awareness.

and I pulled a Goddess oracle card from
http://www.kriswaldherr.com/decks/gid/index.html

All contents © Kris Waldherr 2008. All rights reserved.

Kris Waldherr, the artist who makes these cards said I could put them on my blog as long as I included this link to her facebook page:

http://www.facebook.com/l/;KrisWaldherr.com.

I am letting the experience settle.
Today I took a long walk outside alone and tomorrow I'm going to start up meditating every day again. (I stopped for the summer. Too difficult to get away from 2 kids!)