Bridges

In yoga last week Kellie had us do a crazy pose.
After getting up into handstand (with help) and coming down, she wanted us to try a new pose. In this one there is one hand flat on the ground like in handstand and the other forearm down on the ground like in forearm balance. Then she told us to kick up (with help if we needed it) It felt so unbalanced!
I couldn't kick up, even with her right there! I was just too scared.
"I can't do it." I protested, "It's too uneven and unfamiliar."
She leaned over and said in her loving but challenging way, "Oh, so you only do things in your life that you're good at? That you're used to?"
"Well, yeah!" I laughed, but it got me thinking.
I have been dreaming so long of serenity and peace; writing quietly and lovingly being with my children.
I was shocked recently when I got really angry at Lily. It didn't fit in with my idea of myself.
But it got me thinking, as I wrote in a previous post, maybe I have to shift my story.

Maybe work on doing things that challenge me and make me uncomfortable.

I think part of what I loved about my experience with the clairvoyant last month was that it reinforced my deep feelings of being drawn to a quiet monastic life.
But, as my therapist said when I was complaining recently about the difficult mundane experiences of life, "Well, someone's got to take out the garbage."
Huh.
Maybe I need to work on that in this lifetime....practical messy reality.

(I also am really smitten with my husband and children so I have no intention of running off to be a Buddhist nun)

So, I'm pretty lucky to be here in this regular busy beautiful life

Maybe my next step is moving toward being more present in the changing tricky world;
taking some risks and seeing what happens.

Like in that pose.

I'm listening to Marianne Williamson's The Ten Bridges of Transformation in the car which has been mind-altering and fun. It's about crossing over into new spiritual territory.

Then I got invited to do a canopy tour through the trees in New Hampshire for a friend's birthday. There are zip rides above the trees and suspension bridges high in the air, even rappelling!!! Yikes!!
I thought, "Maybe I'll watch the rest of the group from the ground and cheer them on. I'm way too scared of heights to do it."

http://www.mountwashingtonresort.com/activities/canopy_tour/who_can_participate

Then it came to me, "Uh oh, I should do it." Time to cross some serious bridges inside and out.
I can do anything, right?
I can fly above the trees.
(And it seems like they are well trained, so if I pass out someone on staff will retrieve my dangling unconscious body, get me to a lodge and give me some cocoa.)
I'm going to be brave.
So I put the $100 on my credit card and it's on my calendar