Signs and Songs

" This number refers to balance, like the yin and the yang. Balance your spiritual and material focus by spending time and energy on both. All your needs are met as you devote yourself fully to your Divine life purpose."

from Doreen Virtue's Angel Numbers

OK I've been trying to avoid the number thing, because I still feel like it's nutty, but I have been getting 69 here and there (no, not in any carnal way). Then last night the number flashed in my head and I looked up to see the address at the restaurant where we were eating and, there it was, 69 Main Street. Then my bill was 69 dollars (after Rob meticulously filled out the perfect tip for the prompt but unsmiling waitress.) When I looked at the thermometer and got this (69 degrees both inside and outside) I laughed and said, "Fine! I'm a freak! Fine!" and took a photo.

I tried to remind myself what Noelle said during my reading: "Numbers are one of the ways that the angels speak to people and you need to let that fear go. You need to accept that this is real....Meditating will help with that."

So Balance....

I've been getting a bit fixated on the organizing I wanted to accomplish by summer, partly because it's actually happening! Rob painted the grubby closet/walkway to basement orange for me for mother's day. Hooray! That was the final thing on my painting list. I've been able to keep the house clean with the help of the cleaning lady. Another hooray!

The big triumph, though, was the making of Mother's day photos albums for Rob's and my mother for their belated mother's day gift. I have downloaded and filed all the photos and was thrilled yesterday to find out that I can download the photos that I lost (when the hard drive was erased) back from Kodak for no charge. Great! Now all the chosen photos are coming in the mail for the baby books, the photo projects and the photo albums. That feels like an anvil has been lifted off my chest. (The photo documentation of my childhood, as the third child, was less than spectacular. One of the promises I made when I was first pregnant was "I promise to keep up my children's baby books!" Like much of mothering, that has been more difficult than I thought it might be.)

It does feel as if alot of energy will be released when all these shoulds are done, but I know they will never all get done and I'll have to lighten up, too. It's hard to stop when you're on a roll, but summer will come and I'll have almost no childcare and the cleaning lady is threatening to fire me unless I buy a 300-600$ vacuum, so things may all just crash back in on themselves!

So maybe I should work toward bringing in a bit more rest and meditation instead of compulsively trying to complete tasks before summer arrives.

It was a revelation the other day when Kellie said in yoga class that sometimes when you are present with reality, it is uncomfortable and painful. Her suggestion was to stay curious and open. I realized that often when I feel that discomfort I think it away. If I feel sad, I find myself thinking, "Well, don't be sad! Come on cheer up! People have terrible things in their lives, terrible. People are living in the street, some people don't have running water or their children have been dragged away into a war. Come on what do you have to be upset about? Appreciate what you've got." or some such pep talk.

But instead; what an idea! Just be sad and breathe.

The birdsongs are incredible this time of year.

So jubilant and persistent. I stop several times each day and just let myself listen.

I heard a Veery yesterday at the dump.

One of the most beautiful and mysterious birdsongs there is....

Here's a link to the song, the song slowed down and the song in musical notation played by a piano. Amazing.
http://www.math.sunysb.edu/~tony/birds/music/veery.html