Sailing the ship

I am not afraid of storms for I am learning how to sail my ship. Louisa May Alcott



was the quote Kellie shared during quiet mediation at the end of yoga class yesterday.
Throughout the class she focused on the core, but not the abs, instead she referred to the inner spiritual and emotional core, How well you know yourself, your needs, and what brings you harmony. This awareness then allows you to be harmonious with others.

huh.

I realized I have spent so long ignoring my needs: sleep, exercise, quiet, work that feeds me, that it seems kind of sissy to really pay attention to my own tender self.

Also I guess I fear I'll really hate my job and my hours if I notice. (I know I am lucky to be there in so many ways, but I often feel depleted by the stressful environment of the hospital and the countless sad and sorry stories.)

But recently, maybe because my back has been sore, maybe because of reading how awed Elizabeth Lesser felt towards her own body after observing an open heart surgery. (The lungs and heart were so miraculous and so vulnerable, she was amazed.)

I thought, "How about being kind and supportive to myself and this physical body?"
"How about not telling myself to "hush up and move on" when I am feeling weak or sad?"
I pride myself on being resilient and adaptable, pushing though.
Life is so busy and things always feel like they're about to fall into a jumbled mess, but maybe it's time to accommodate myself a bit more.

And spend time and energy paying attention to better learning how to sail my own ship.