Wednesday, April 18, 2012

In Cambridge today while Lily’s science class is spending the morning in a lab at MIT making lego cars. I’m in a café where I just got settled and then found out they turn off the WIFI from 11-1 for lunch hour. Oh well.
Adjustment back to life from vacation was a bit jarring (what a suprise!) I was in Boston all last weekend with another wonderful installment of my aromatherapy training. I left home at 6am and spend the day in a windowless room with wonderful women learning about the science and magic of oils. I spent the night at my parent’s which was fun and I got to bed at 9:30 and slept like a log before heading to my next day of aromatherapy. We got 8 new oils. I love the cypress. I’ll get to know the others which have alot of antibacterial properties; good for room sprays, diffusers and hand sanitizers. My teacher Kathy Duffy LPN reports she hasn’t been sick with a cold or flu since she started using essential oils many years ago. I’m ready for that. They work by boosting your immune system and killing the bacteria/viruses/fungus that make us sick.

Then I finished up the semester with my nursing students. I had pledged to do no work on vacation so a big pile of responsibility met me at home and I am still recovering and digging out. I got home from Boston and prepared a lecture on “neonatal withdrawal from drugs in the hospital setting” which I gave three times to three different groups in one day; quite draining but fun to talk about something I (sadly) know a lot about from working on OB . Then I had last minute grading and filling out of evaluations which requires me to really organize, using different color post-its to figure out who passed in what and correcting last minute care plans which I abhor.
I have been teaching nursing students for the last 5 years. Mostly I have taught OB one day a week in the fall semesters. The school where I teach had really encouraged and then pleaded with me to get a master’s degree in nursing because I cannot continue teaching without one. They were going to pay for it and reiterated over and over again I would only have to be in school part time. People I work with are kind and helpful and whenever I talked to them I would think, “I should go back to school. They would pay for it!” Then before I even got home I would be thinking of all the reasons why I couldn’t/shouldn’t. It was one of those times when, if I took a moment to listen to myself, it was very very clear I did not want a masters degree in nursing education. (Even now I feel guilty writing that!)
When I talked to people they told me all the practical reasons I should do it. But I feel so clear that I cannot take classes in nursing leadership with my limited free time. I cannot. Taking classes part time mean it would take me 8 years to complete the degree, taking one class at a time. That makes me want to spit! There is no way. I know I will lose that part time job. I know I will not be able to teach anymore. That’s fine. I don’t want to hurt people’s feelings but it’s not really my thing. And part of being over 40 years old with two children who don’t need me all the time is that; it is time for me to do my thing. Whatever that thing might be. It is not time to get a degree I don’t want for a job that is OK. Phew.
So this year that teaching job hired me to teach the LPN students (I couldn’t go back to my regular gig teaching OB without a master’s) which has been fun. I enjoy working with people and seeing them transform into nurses. But I got word that I will not be there next year. I’ve got a few more weeks in the hospital with them and then a few weeks in lab. Teaching has been taking up a ton of energy in my life since August, working 2 days a week and doing lots of paperwork and planning. I rarely write about it because my work as a nurse is so private and I don’t ever want to violate anyone, patient or student, by writing or talking about them. But I have spent 9 months working too much for my liking and feeling like the rest of life is dragging along behind me, half shut in the car door and fluttering in the breeze. I am thrilled to soon be less busy and create some time to take a breath.
I have been learning to listen more and more to my intuition and my body.
People (including Rob) keep wondering what I will do for money now that my teaching job is coming to an end. And I’m pretty sure I can always pick up some hours at my regular job in OB, which I enjoy. But I am hoping to start building some sort of healing business in the next few months. I’m not sure what it will look like, but it is time. That is the feeling I am getting over and over again. So, why not?
It’s time.
I have been doing Reiki for 14 years!
It’s time.
I’m thinking about flyers, looking for space, finishing up my emotrance training, which is a wonderful simple energy healing method I am learning and working toward my Aromatherapist certification.
All those things really excite me! I have been drawn to healing and plants my whole life. I just kept telling myself I couldn’t just follow that love; that there wasn’t money in it or I didn’t know enough or I didn’t want to be weird.
But I’m done with all that and ready to go.

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