I consider myself quite stable and practical so I was annoyed about this, disturbed that the divine would chose to speak with me in such a weird and unsatisfying way. If I was to have some communication, couldn't it be with colorful visions or dreams? I was also frightened. I knew most people would think some latent mental illness was rearing its head if I told them. I imagined myself ultimately ending up like a rainman adding numbers up in my head and mumbling incoherently (but accurately!) about the future. My wise medicine woman responded to my breathy and nervous revelation by looking a bit bored and saying, "It might just be for now, just a way in. It doesn't mean you will have to get obsessed with numbers. Just follow it and see where it takes you."
I was glad she was bored but I still resisted. I tried to buy analog watches, but after a few weeks I missed the numbers. Finally, years later, after merely nodding a respectful greeting when the numbers would appear I was on a late night Amazon book buying spree. I needed one more book to qualify for free shipping. There was a pink Angel Numbers book at the bottom of the screen and it caught my eye. I liked the author Doreen Virtue, my friend had just lent me her fairy book. I added Angel Numbers to my shopping cart with a hurried flush of shame. I didn't want to talk about Pythagoras! I didn't want to hear about sacred geometry! I didn't want to be a kook looking at her number reference book, but that is what I have become. Doreen and Lynnette Brown have come up with meanings for groupings of numbers. It gives me somewhere to go when I bombarded by a number throughout a day, "OK OK. Fine. What is it?"
The last few days it has been 311. Here's what the book says.
"The ascended masters are helping-and urging-you to keep your mind focused on creating and manifesting at the highest level of light and love. Avoid addictive behaviors, as they mask your desire to create."
Hmmm. Which addictive behaviors? The only addictions I really have are fretting over money and then spending it. Oh, and worrying about my weight and then eating. I am amazed by how much time they can take, though, maybe they're powerful distractions. The meditation has made them less potent, but the holiday season has certainly given them some juice.
Something to work on in 2009.
Happy New Year.
To Love, Light and Magic!