Rowdy kids at Grandparent's

We stayed at my parents and walked to the field at dusk.



Both the girls were rowdy after being in the car and enduring rain at the race. This is Lily in her crazy adult clothing-swap shirt. Shortly after this photo she got in trouble for trying to tackle me.






Here's Lily peforming her climbing trick at my parents. This has historically been the doorway where it was done by my brother when he was a kid. It must have some sort of perfect dimensions that create climbing allure.



She's wearing a dress my mother made me for the first day of 3rd or 4th grade. I remember loving the red jeweled buttons.



Lily really enjoys my parent's house; looking through all the treasures and things saved from when my siblings and I were young. Later, she came down the hall in a bridesmaid's dress of my sisters from 1974.

Fall sparklers!

The girls lit some sparklers outside at night. My mother had saved some red ones from Fourth of July. They were red and lush in the cool fall air.

Nice surprise

It can be so exciting to walk through the nurse's lounge and discover a lovely card and present to all of us from a wonderful thoughtful family.
Of course, I don't expect gifts and usually feel like a new mom should be home sleeping, not worrying about giving gifts to her providers who were doing their job.
BUT, tonight!
This is my very favorite cake - Death By Chocolate from Greenfield's market with some fresh picked honey crisp apples and peaches from a local orchard along with a lovely card from a satisfied and happy family.
How great is that?

I was wanting a snack and there it was.
The woman snuck in and out so I didn't get to thank her and say hello.

But sometimes it is just sweet to let people's kindness and appreciation wash over you.
Especially while eating a large piece of chocolate cake with a group of laughing co-workers!

"School is the F-word!"

Is what Georgia said this morning when I told her it was time to wrap up painting and get ready for school.

She was painting happily all morning. The last couple of weeks she has been painting, drawing and writing all the time. Before that she didn't have much interest; now, suddenly, she loves it.

Georgia has been know to use the actual f-word. At first I made the mistake of overreacting (gasping and putting my hand to my mouth in horror to show her the impact and putting her in a time-out) which just made her do it more. Lily has been yelling, "Mama, Georgia's saying the f-word!!" on most days. Then I would trudge in and give Georgia a talking to or put her in a time out. Now as a new approach, the whole family is trying to ignore it. We have seen a decrease in trash mouth the last week or so, but maybe she just got sick of it.

She has been hitting less, too. But I think she still wants some satisfying way to express her anger, which I can understand.

Sometimes I feel like work is the f-word.
Who wants to stop playing, clean up and put their shoes and socks on??

Byron Katie

I went with 5 friends to see Byron Katie at Newton-Wellsley hospital. We had a fun 2 hour drive there. It felt like we were going to a rock concert.
We even got our hand stamped and were escorted into the auditorium.
It was great to see her in person.
There was lots of laughter amid the intensity of doing "The Work"
The breakthroughs we witnessed weren't quite as efficient as on the website, but we all drove away feeling lighter and like some of our thinking had been transformed.

http://www.thework.com/index.asp

We stopped at 10pm on the way home at Cabot's ice cream and got sundaes.

Tossing the crow mug

The girls and I went to the Connecticut river to toss my broken crow mug into the river.

Such an amazing fall day; the leaves had just a tinge of reddish starting to spread along the hills.
We each threw a piece of the mug in, after the last splash quieted Lily said,
"Maybe a crow will come flying out of the water!"
We all waited but the water was still.
Maybe at night when the stars are out and no one is watching..

Bridges

In yoga last week Kellie had us do a crazy pose.
After getting up into handstand (with help) and coming down, she wanted us to try a new pose. In this one there is one hand flat on the ground like in handstand and the other forearm down on the ground like in forearm balance. Then she told us to kick up (with help if we needed it) It felt so unbalanced!
I couldn't kick up, even with her right there! I was just too scared.
"I can't do it." I protested, "It's too uneven and unfamiliar."
She leaned over and said in her loving but challenging way, "Oh, so you only do things in your life that you're good at? That you're used to?"
"Well, yeah!" I laughed, but it got me thinking.
I have been dreaming so long of serenity and peace; writing quietly and lovingly being with my children.
I was shocked recently when I got really angry at Lily. It didn't fit in with my idea of myself.
But it got me thinking, as I wrote in a previous post, maybe I have to shift my story.

Maybe work on doing things that challenge me and make me uncomfortable.

I think part of what I loved about my experience with the clairvoyant last month was that it reinforced my deep feelings of being drawn to a quiet monastic life.
But, as my therapist said when I was complaining recently about the difficult mundane experiences of life, "Well, someone's got to take out the garbage."
Huh.
Maybe I need to work on that in this lifetime....practical messy reality.

(I also am really smitten with my husband and children so I have no intention of running off to be a Buddhist nun)

So, I'm pretty lucky to be here in this regular busy beautiful life

Maybe my next step is moving toward being more present in the changing tricky world;
taking some risks and seeing what happens.

Like in that pose.

I'm listening to Marianne Williamson's The Ten Bridges of Transformation in the car which has been mind-altering and fun. It's about crossing over into new spiritual territory.

Then I got invited to do a canopy tour through the trees in New Hampshire for a friend's birthday. There are zip rides above the trees and suspension bridges high in the air, even rappelling!!! Yikes!!
I thought, "Maybe I'll watch the rest of the group from the ground and cheer them on. I'm way too scared of heights to do it."

http://www.mountwashingtonresort.com/activities/canopy_tour/who_can_participate

Then it came to me, "Uh oh, I should do it." Time to cross some serious bridges inside and out.
I can do anything, right?
I can fly above the trees.
(And it seems like they are well trained, so if I pass out someone on staff will retrieve my dangling unconscious body, get me to a lodge and give me some cocoa.)
I'm going to be brave.
So I put the $100 on my credit card and it's on my calendar