Thursday, April 15, 2010

Dogfish

Kellie read this Mary Oliver poem in yoga class.

Dogfish
Some kind of relaxed and beautiful thing
kept flickering in with the tide
and looking around.
Black as a fisherman's boot,
with a white belly.

If you asked for a picture I would have to draw a smile
under the perfectly round eyes and above the chin,
which was rough
as a thousand sharpened nails.

And you know
what a smile means,
don't you?

*

I wanted the past to go away, I wanted
to leave it, like another country; I wanted
my life to close, and open
like a hinge, like a wing, like the part of the song
where it falls
down over the rocks: an explosion, a discovery;
I wanted
to hurry into the work of my life; I wanted to know,

whoever I was, I was

alive
for a little while.

*

It was evening, and no longer summer.
Three small fish, I don't know what they were,
huddled in the highest ripples
as it came swimming in again, effortless, the whole body
one gesture, one black sleeve
that could fit easily around
the bodies of three small fish.

*

Also I wanted
to be able to love. And we all know
how that one goes,
don't we?

Slowly

*

the dogfish tore open the soft basins of water.

*

You don't want to hear the story
of my life, and anyway
I don't want to tell it, I want to listen

to the enormous waterfalls of the sun.

And anyway it's the same old story - - -
a few people just trying,
one way or another,
to survive.

Mostly, I want to be kind.
And nobody, of course, is kind,
or mean,
for a simple reason.

And nobody gets out of it, having to
swim through the fires to stay in
this world.

*

And look! look! look! I think those little fish
better wake up and dash themselves away
from the hopeless future that is
bulging toward them.

*

And probably,
if they don't waste time
looking for an easier world,

they can do it.




Wow.
Those last lines......

if they don't waste time looking for an easier world,

stayed with me all day.

2 comments:

  1. SO I have been trying to remember to follow your blog since my friend Jess, told me that my most favorite nurse ever had one...but really I end up not getting to for awhile and then come back and catch up on all I missed! Ps this is katie by the way~
    anyway I just wanted to tell you since I have been telling everyone else I know how amazingly lucky I feel to have had you as my nurse. Honestly I have now had three babies and I couldnt tell you the names of any of the nurses who helped deliver them except you(well and my cousin but I would be in real big trouble if I forgot her. I know you probably hear people all the time tell you how grateful they are, but I wanted to tell you how much I mean it. Every time a friend of mine has a baby or tells me I am pregnant I start rambling on about the best nurse ever, and how she dealt with my craziness so perfectly, the exact right of amount of encouragement and empathy with just a knowledge of when I needed a little extra nudge in the right direction and when I needed to just be left to figure it out on my own. Being able to read people is such an amazing skill, one that is imperative in a nurse and I think so many people decide to be a nurse based on money and job market more then following a calling. It started for me when we sat and did the very first pre-registration visit, I was so excited to see you there when I walked into my room, I knew it was going to be a fast intense labor and was going to need all the friendly faces I could gather. SO thank you again, although it just doesnt feel like enough to say. I wish I could include a picture but I cant seem to figure out how...thanks again....ps if you send me your email address I can email one.
    katie Caron
    katiels_27@hotmail.com
    Max born april 15. 2010

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  2. Oh Katie! You are so great and so much fun. It was a great pleasure to be with you! Thanks for all your kind words! I'll email you! Take care and thank you.

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