Sunday, July 15, 2012

Cleaning out!

I am shocked.  Really shocked.  I was able to give away all of my baby supplies.  I never thought this day would come.  I never thought I would feel pleased and free about getting rid of cribs and high chairs, but I do.  Hooray.  What a relief.  I thought I would feel sadness and regret my whole life for not birthing a third child but I don't.  It's OK.

I'm not sure if the kids got old enough that I gradually moved out of baby mode?

Or if Cookie is such a handful, I know I couldn't manage a child, too?

Or if all the EFT tapping I did on the deep compulsion to have another child really released me?

or if it's a combination of all these factors, but I'm free!

It feels like having my beautiful babies was such an intense and all consuming activity, it allowed me to be really focused and present in a way I found deeply satisfying.  I lost sight of the potential for deep satisfaction from other activities; anything else seemed trivial. 

But now, as the girls have gotten older, I feel like I am becoming more myself and enjoying spending time with me.  It also feels like such a privilege to parent the girls I have! (And it takes most of the time and presence I've got.)

I'm going to go through baby clothes soon.  That might trip me up a bit, but I think I'm going to be OK and that feels great.

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