Monday, August 22, 2011

Cambridge Shamanic Circle

Well, I finally made it. My intuition told me to come to the Cambridge Shamanic Circle 15 months ago and I took my time, but I made it!

I have been having a hard time since Susan, my friend, colleague and beloved midwife to my children, died of breast cancer a few weeks ago. Even though I knew she was dying. Even though I was lucky enough to go to Susan's house with my friend and give Susan Reiki for years, I still feel so angry that she is gone and so sad I didn't spend more time with her.

I have also been having a miserable time with my girls. Either they sense my deep sadness and rage at the world and are acting it out or it is a terribly timed coincidence that when I need some quiet processing time for myself, my children are behaving worse than they ever have and are making me crazy, wanting-to-hit-them crazy.

So, I asked the babysitter if she could come on Friday and she could. I took off to see the Harry Potter movie alone (Heaven) and then drove 2 hours to Cambridge. I felt a bit guilty. Rob had been incredulous, "Really? Cambridge? This Friday? What?" But I knew I needed to go. As I drove along the highway, getting excited I had actually made the leap, a huge Bald Eagle soared above me for a long while. I knew I was doing the right thing. I got to Cambridge in record time and found a perfect parking space right in front, even though the directions were spotty and I had to rely on my vague distant memories of the back streets around Harvard Square. After I parked, I saw this car with a 444 license plate and you know I love 444 (According to Doreen Virtue it means: "Thousands of angels surround you at this moment, loving and supporting you. You have a very strong and clear connection with the angelic realm, and are an Earth angel yourself. You have nothing to fear-all is well." ) Love that.
I was just far enough from home to then miss my family and wish they were here with me. (I hadn't felt that for a while. Getting away is good.)

I had delicious burrito at Chipotle and then walked down the evening streets to the Quaker meeting house where the circle was held.

It was marvelous. There were 8-9 people sitting on the floor. Three of us were new. All the people were kind and open. I told them my story about my intuition finding them in the magazine in a bathroom and the 15 months going by and the babysitter and the bald eagle and they clapped with joy that I had arrived. The circle itself was magical and healing. I have been on journeys before and read a few books about shamanism, and their website was nicely informative about what I needed to expect. I won't write too much about the actual journey because the website gives the instruction:

"The Other World of shamanism is an infinite source for receiving practical wisdom and healing power. In order to treat the sacred spirits with respect, it is important not to speak casually about your experiences in public."

I tend to speak casually about everything so I have to hold myself back, but it was a deeply healing experience. After it was complete, I felt much brighter; more connected and aware that the deep unknowingness of the mysteries of the world was OK. It was part of the magic.

One of the leaders came to me at the end and said, "Well I guess you've been part of the circle for a while, but it was nice to meet you!" and she gave me a warm hug. I felt so light as I walked out to the soft lawn, quiet voices around me and the full moon above.

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