I spent the last two years completing her distance learning program in Emotrance, all the while hoping I could someday attend the annual conference in England, but then I got an email saying that Silivia Hartman was coming to the US! She would be doing a four day energy intensive conference for the first time in 10 years! I had previously purchased audios of her conferences and lectures in England and found her a very engaging teacher, although the first time I listened I was shocked by her frank, blunt and very funny manner that includes alot of swearing. (Of course, I fell for her!)
Sure, I wanted to go, but we couldn't afford it, really. But my intuition was going wild. Yes. Yes. Yes.
It would be the perfect way to complement my training in the technique and she was doing a certification course in EFT tapping, too, which is another favorite method of mine for relieving stress.
I tried to stay calm.
We'd see what happened.
That night Rob and I went out for a new moon walk. It was really dark but I wore my new headlamp and we could see the snow sparkle all around us in our little beam of light.
We talked about our days and I told him how the creator of Emotrance was coming and I really wanted to go. It cost $800. More than we have to spend on non necessities. He said, "Maybe you should go." I couldn't believe it. I told him it was near DC and he encouragingly suggested that I could drive. It wouldn't be so bad. I could do it. Oh my god! I can't believe this! I'm going ??!!
My excuses for never following through on my alternative healing dreams throughout my life have always been financial. How would I pay for insurance if I became a homebirth midwife? Can I really pay thousands of dollars to become an herbalist when I don't know anyone who goes to an herbalist? If I become a yoga teacher, would I make any money or would it just be a hobby, a hobby I invested thousands of dollars in?
Always financial. It always cost too much to do what I wanted to do. But it was finally just pissing me off. I wanted to end that trend. Now, with so many examples, it just seemed like just a lame excuse.
Just before we went to Florida was the last day to sign up with discounts and a special gift of DVD training. I asked Rob if he thought I should go ahead and do it. He looked pained but said, "Whatever you think." I signed up shortly after. I used my credit card. I was going to the conference. I was going to be away from home for 5 days! (It would be the longest I've ever left the children other than being hospitalized for sepsis.) I rearranged my work schedule. The next day I asked Rob about child care after school while he was still at work those afternoons while I was away.
He looked stricken. "You did it!?" "I didn't think you'd do it!'
I said, "Yes. Yes I did it."
So I drove 8 hours, through New York City and into Baltimore. I brought everything I might need. That's the benefit of bringing a car, right?
I was almost there and then got totally stopped in traffic in the Baltimore Harbor Tunnel. I had to pee so badly. I had thought I'd be there at 6pm and have a nice evening, but instead I was stuck in the tunnel at 10pm.
But I finally arrived and everyone at the hotel was so friendly. I had a huge amount of stuff to bring up to my room, but the bell boy helped me do it all in one trip. I brought all my essential oils, my crystals and any book I might feel like reading. I settled into my room with a fridge and a microwave; it was really nice and cozy. There were two big queen beds with fluffy pillows. I took a bath with my oils and happily unpacked in my pjs.