Friday, April 29, 2011


My sister was there with the girls waiting for Rob and me.

It felt so strange to be home, like so much time had gone by. Things were strange but also totally familiar.

Here's Lily's heartbreaking get well soon card I found in a pile of papers. It has a drawing of our house and the hospital connected by a tiny winding road with the words, "I love you. I miss you. you are so far away." Uggh.

Here's EJ's medicine graph. I was spacey and had a very hard time remembering when to take my meds and if I had taken them so she made me a helpful tool, that I would forget to use.

So many lovely cards, a healing basket, a couple hearts, chickens and a special lamp made of Selenite that has healing properties and glows beautifully. It is heavy and solid and was sent by a dear family friend in Sedona.
It all cheered me whenever I went by the dining room table.

Here's me drawing up my Zofran to help with the nausea. The visiting nurses came and explained everything and gave me all the syringes, alcohol wipes and directions I could ever need.

My sister left me this healing affirmation and my dear friend brought me new Virgin of Guadalupe to watch over me from my Reiki Grid.

My hands looked so strange without my rings, but I wasn't ready to put them on yet. I didn't quite feel like myself, yet. Not. Quite. Ready.

My sister and mother took turns helping me out at home and driving me to doctor appointments. Friends brought amazing plentiful food, called and checked on us. I felt so tired and blessed but also a bit mopey and sad, like there was a gray veil between me and the shining world that I should be so happy to be part of again.

I listened to Lucinda William's Sweet Old World:

over and over again. It reminded me of all the reasons I was so lucky to be alive and distracted me from all the catching up I had to do.

Then I got this marvelous book in the mail from a friend and I was lost in it for at least a week. What fun, staying up late and distracting myself with the thrilling story! I didn't think about all the bills, my still deaf ear, going back to work, piles of mail and mess and emails, or the long term effect of my illness on my children (turned out they were a bit angry and upset about me disappearing one morning and not coming back for 6 days!)

The weeks went by in a blur. I took naps when I could. I sat around with my girls. Cookie came back from my sister's where she had a lovely time. My nausea passed as the days went by. My midline came out, floomp! and I got to take antibiotic pills for three weeks. Slowly, I was getting stronger.

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