Mummies and musical instruments

The girls and I met my parents and sister at the Museum of Fine Arts in Boston on Sunday. They're having a show about mummies, which currently fascinate and horrify Lily. Georgia doesn't quite get the connection between mommies, which she really likes, and mummies, which seem really wrong to her. I didn't get into too many details before the trip and luckily the girls ran so quickly through the exhibits I did not have to explain the mummified head in the dark chamber or the MRI scans of the ancient head done at Mass General that are displayed eerily on the screen at kid level. The presentation explains why they cannot tell if it is the lord or lady's head because the tell-tale jaw and face bones have been removed by the ancient embalmers to help the dead open their mouths and speak in the harrowing underworld. (shudder)





We stopped in the John Singer Sargent room and Lily proudly noticed the vases in the portrait of the girls are standing in the corners of the museum room. It was crowded on a cold Sunday and there were plenty of kids, which is always a welcome sight to me. When my children are wired and goofy, it's nice to see other kids acting out, too.
These big road trips always seem like a grand idea when we plan them months in advance but, on the actual morning, as I'm starting the cold car that has almost no gas and Rob is standing there in his robe waving goodbye; I realize it is a terrible and foolish idea and that we will all be dead-tired by the time we return to the driveway again.
But my family helped manage the girls and it was a wonderful time, really, and in retrospect, even more fun because I drove through Boston like a champ, we didn't get lost, we saw tons of art, marble staircases and painted ceilings. We survived and made it home in time for bed.

Old tapes; old stories

I was cleaning out the closet and I found these old tapes of two astrology sessions from ten years ago during my Saturn return. The ladies I worked with at Bread and Circus (now Whole Foods) had encouraged me to go. The astrologer was a lovely woman who gave thorough and compassionate readings in her woodsy home.
I didn't think the readings had done much for me at the time. What I took away from the reading then was that it wasn't really my destiny to be a writer, which was devastating because that's what I really wanted to do, and that someone I loved was going to die soon.
Listening to the tapes 10 years later was riveting, it was so compelling to hear my own younger voice talking about my concerns, hopes and dreams. Also astonishing was that the astrologer never said either of the things that I thought I had heard and held onto for all those years.
She did say that my Pluto return was coming and that it would mean a death of a certain part of me or of my life that would take me deeper into the mysteries, but she did not say someone I loved was going to die.
She also said that I had alot of teacher activist energy so when I mentioned the writing she declared that it would be a great vehicle for communication. I think I must have been disappointed she hadn't said I could be a quiet writer sequestered in the woods.
There was also alot of very interesting and accurate information about me in the hour and a half of tape that I don't remember hearing the first time at all.
In retrospect it was sort of grounding and reassuring to hear things now that I have discovered on my own, but it was a bit exasperating to hear it all laid out for me in a kind and firm way and know that I chose to ignore it and create a wall of misunderstanding where there really wasn't one.
Hmmmm.
Glad I still have a car with a tape player in it.
Rob went out to start my car the other morning and came in, puzzled, "What the hell are you listening to in your car?"

Cleaning up uncovers abundance of toys!

Well, I cleaned up the girls toys and gave a bunch of them to good will. First I tried to be honest about the plan and teach the girls how to throw stuff out. I put a laundry basket out in the living room and said, "Let's get rid of all the stuff we don't play with anymore. Someone else might like it!" After an hour there were one or two crappy toys in the basket. Mostly Lily would painfully decide to throw something in there and then Georgia would snatch it to her heart and save it from the basket. This went on, back and forth, until I decided I had to be sneaky.

I didn't want to throw out stuff they really liked so I stuffed a few bags of junk in the basement and waited for the wails. After a week or two there were a few things I overheard them looking for so I took those things out of the trash bags and sneaked them back into the living room.

Growing up, my mother never threw anything out. It was a good feeling knowing that something wouldn't be tossed while you weren't looking. (Except, of course, for my precious collection of stuffed animals we put in a trash bag for "just two weeks" when I had lice in 5th grade, that was never seen again. I looked for that bag for an entire decade, opening up garbage bags in the corners of the basement over the years to see if maybe my huge stuffed tiger was in there.)

It is a delicate balance.
But, since we (I) have done some rudimentary cleaning and tossing, there has been great excitement about all the toys we discovered and alot of sweet sisterly play with the critters we found scattered and ignored all around the house.

Shower clock

I re-read this Martha Beck article the other day and decided much of my lateness issue has to do with transitions. She has some practical suggestions for moving things along. I decided to get a clock for the shower and learn how to set my watch alarm so I can stay on track.
http://www.oprah.com/spirit/Dealing-With-Transition-Anxiety-Martha-Beck/1

I am really excited.

My fixed watch and my shower clock came in the mail today! I have been suffering as I waited for both of them to arrive.

I completely lose track of time in the shower. Because I am free from nagging and whining, enjoying the dizzyingly warm cocoon of no-responsibility; it can go on forever. Then, suddenly, it is way too late! I have to rush out! It is cold! Moisturizer and deodorant become too time consuming to apply. Lily is late for school and I am frazzled, rushing and trying not to yell, "Hurry Up!!" because I know I just took a 25 minute shower.

Every time something has been "off" this last week: somebody's got a cold, I can't find my wallet, babysitting falls through. I tell Rob, "It will all be different when my shower clock gets here." It makes him laugh. I asked him to buy one for me at Home Depot and he was too embarrassed, like I was asking him to buy me cloth menstrual pads or something.
Here's the link in case you want one, too.

http://www.amazon.com/Ripple-Water-Conservation-Products-Digital/dp/B001MLZZ74/ref=sr_1_9?ie=UTF8&s=home-garden&qid=1265073468&sr=8-9

Also can't wait to sit down with the huge piece of gray tissue paper, that are the directions for my digital watch, so I can figure how to beep annoyingly when I need to go somewhere. I also want to chime every hour to remind me to take a deep breath. Very excited to become one of those annoying timer-people who make noises every hour.

I'll let you know how it goes.

Possom day

On Friday I saw a POSSOM !
No coat Mamas hat.
love being cold.

lily

Three Questions

I finally sat down with Rob and we went over George Kinder's three questions. Kindle is a financial planner who asks these questions of his clients and then tries to build a life and goals based on their answers.

Here they are from Get Rich slowly website :

http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/2009/02/15/george-kinder-three-questions-about-life-planning/


"To help clients discover the deeper values in their lives, Kinder poses three questions:

1. Imagine you are financially secure, that you have enough money to take care of your needs, now and in the future. How would you live your life? Would you change anything? Let yourself go. Don’t hold back on your dreams. Describe a life that is complete and richly yours.
2. Now imagine that you visit your doctor, who tells you that you have only 5-10 years to live. You won’t ever feel sick, but you will have no notice of the moment of your death. What will you do in the time you have remaining? Will you change your life and how will you do it? (Note that this question does not assume unlimited funds.)
3. Finally, imagine that your doctor shocks you with the news that you only have 24 hours to live. Notice what feelings arise as you confront your very real mortality. Ask yourself: What did you miss? Who did you not get to be? What did you not get to do?"

Well, there we were at the Wagon Wheel enjoying our burger and salad while my parents watched the girls. I was surprised by our answers....

The first question with unlimited time and money was fun. Neither of us would work regular jobs. Rob would start some company based on food or bikes and work half time. He'd go to the gym more.

He quoted Johnny Cash's song "Oh bury me not", saying, "I'd be no slave to whistle, clock or bell" He would to support enterprise, cool business opportunities and "have money to lose"

We both wanted to garden and have enough time time and money to travel a couple times a year and we both wanted to be around the house, picking the kids up from school.

I'd like to write, take walks, and, secretly I'd like to become a wizard (whatever that might mean) I'd do yoga and I'd probably be a doula or a hospice volunteer or both. I'd get better on the violin and sing songs. I'd have chickens, goats and dogs running around a bigger yard and house that we designed. I'd meditate 30 minutes a day and be home in the evenings. Ahhhh

The second question was trickier

Rob wanted to work less and have me carry the insurance. He wanted to pick the kids up from school; but pretty much maintain the life we've got.

I wanted to have a family trip to Europe and one to a warm Spanish speaking country. I wanted to be caught up on my photo albums; clean up my mess and backlog (this really shocked me, but I wanted to leave the girls a clear history, including pulling together all of the really old family history stuff I've got in my bedroom closet!)

I wanted to decrease chatter and rushing, become frugal with time and money - spending the bulk of my waning time with family, animals and nature. I wanted to work less.

Third question

Rob would stay with the family those 24 hours. He had no regrets other than missing out on the stuff that would go on without him.

I felt sad, like I wished I'd done more singing, music playing, painting and meditating..and of course that I had more time with family.

I felt strangely cleared and peaceful after, even though we were running back home and I was rushing off to work. I felt clean, like I'd had a good cry. It was such a relief to realize I have everything I want, that it's simple and close by. Suddenly being frugal seemed peaceful and appealing. Playing boardgames in the evening with my family - my beautiful family - seemed like a huge gift.

Here's my horoscope from last week...

from Free Will Astrology

http://www.freewillastrology.com/horoscopes/20100114.html

Sagittarius

"You can have it all," says fashion designer Luella Bartley. "It's just really hard work." That's my oracle for you, Sagittarius -- not just for this week, but for the next three months as well. According to my reading of the astrological omens, the cosmos will indeed permit you to have your cake and eat it, too, as long as you're willing to manage your life with more discipline, master the crucial little details everyone else neglects, and always give back at least as much as you're given.

Hmmm, I like the idea of having three months to organize.
The house is cleanish
The lice has been murdered by mouthwash (we hope)
Monday (my day with childcare) is not a holiday from school for the girls.

I am feeling inspired to make a pronouncement.
I overdrafted my account for the very last time yesterday.
There.
In the past (until this morning) I have been lackadaisical about balancing my checking account.
So when the babysitter cashed her $200 worth of checks from this summer on January 20th (Yes, that's 8 months later! Akkkkkkk!!!!) my bookkeeping was not up for the challenge.

I wish I could take Ritalin to do my bills, but I'm not up for hunting that down, so instead I am going to work on a system.

Yodlee is up and running with all of our accounts and debts, which is thrilling. I can open it up and get everything on one page.
Now I just have to keep track of checks I write (I do that) and then monitor if they have been cashed (I don't do that).
Then the next step is learning how to pay bills out of Yodlee and then, eventually, getting enough of a money cushion I can sign all my bills up to be automatically withdrawn.

What a relief that would be!
Monday I'll clean out my file cabinet and toss old useless junk making it easy to file new stuff.