Monday, November 30, 2009

The last of Picadilly farm this year

Here's Picadilly Farm's pick-up spot last week in the dark at 5pm.
That was the last pick-up of the season.
It wad odd not to go tonight. We're used to the routine.
Now we have a few weeks to catch up on all the gorgeous squash we have lingering around the mud room

Herkimer Diamonds

I finally cleansed them yesterday. I always think this sort of thing will be a fun kid activity, instead, there is chaos and the sound of small things falling to the ground. So I snuck off on my own, and with just a few interruptions, I cleansed the stones and charged them with Reiki energy for peaceful sweet dreams.
Next is to stuff and sew the pillows.
When I first thought handmade gifts would be a fun inexpensive alternative this holiday season I forgot I would actually have to sit down and make them.
Things are moving along, though.
I think I'll bring my labels to the print shop (Staples, really) this week.

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Puppies puppies

We went to visit Liza's golden retriever puppies this weekend and holy crap they were cute.

Rob is allergic so I knew we could never bring one home, but the girls forgot we were just visiting, and fell deeply in love. By the end of the hour each had settled down with one that they really wanted.

I had to force them to come home with me. Lily tried to stay glued to Liza's porch in protest; the runt held tightly in her arms.

That night she cried at bedtime because she missed her puppy.

Uggh; broke my heart.
I think it was worth it for them just to experience darling goofy puppy exuberance, but not sure it was worth the despair when we left.

I told Lily someday, maybe in a year or so, we'll be bringing a different puppy home.

Friday, November 27, 2009

You may think that the world does not need you

You may think that the world does not need you
But it does.
For you are unique like no one who has ever been before or will come again.
No one can say your piece,
speak your voice,
smile your smile,
or shine your light.
No one can take your place, for it is yours alone to fill and if you
are not there to shine your light
Who knows how many travelers will lose their way as they try to pass
by your empty place in the darkness.


Another wonderful quote from Kellie at yoga class. I wanted to read it at Thanksgiving, but I couldn't find it in the madly packed car.

(It makes me want to put on the holiday lights as soon as dusk falls. In this photo you can see neighbors down the street have their trees lit up, too.

Oh I love holiday lights.

So what if my electric bill rockets up this time of year, damnit!)

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Amber Angel

I first saw the angel carved in amber, inside an oval locket two or three years ago. It was being sold by a vendor at the Brattleboro Farmer's Market. I loved it, but it cost too much.
I held it and admired it but put it down.
Then I couldn't stop thinking about it.
I mentioned to my mother, who said, "Well, maybe, if you need it; you should get it."
I decided she was right!
I went back to the vendor and the locket was long gone. I begged the woman to find another one.
She said they were difficult to come by, but she would do her best.
I never heard from her.
I googled every possible descriptive combination to find it on-line and I couldn't. I just couldn't. It wasn't out there.

Tonight, after a few years had gone by, I remembered that my mother was asking me what I wanted for my birthday. I have no idea.
Then I thought of the angel carved into amber, hidden in an egg shaped locket. I googled Amber angel locket and started looking again.
There it was!!
Cameo Amber Locket Pendant - Angel

I ordered it from a site that seemed a little disorganized and confusing.
The next morning I thought, "Hmmm I hope that was a real site....." I was less worried about my credit card being stolen and more worried they wouldn't send me my angel.
I called the phone number on the website and there was no message, just a beep.
Uh oh.
I looked at my card history Monday morning and it hadn't been charged yet.
Then an email arrived from a polite woman telling me it was on its way.
Today it arrived!
The girls helped me open it.
It is so lovely.
I can't believe I finally found it!
My mother is giving it to me for birthday and Christmas combined.
I can't wait to wear it.
It is even more beautiful than I remember it.
It will be my lucky angel.

Sunday, November 22, 2009


Here's Lily up in her room. She was making dog art; portraits of recently deceased dogs in her life.

On the right is Azalea made of chain and two cups. On the left is Kiva, my sister's dog who died at 11 years old this weekend, made up of books.

Kiva was very sweet and we'll miss her. That night, Lily and I were out looking at the stars from the air mattress I set up on the deck and Lily saw a shooting star. We decided it was Kiva on her way up to dog heaven where Azalea would meet her and show her around.

Friday, November 20, 2009

To the dump and then to get milk

I drove through Gill today and I passed one of my favorite trees. It's an old Elm with a beautiful silhouette against the sky. I used to see it whenever I drove Lily to preschool. I was always late and harried on my way to work with toddler-Lily moping and weeping in the backseat about going to school.

I trained myself to take a deep slow breath every time I saw this tree. Whenever I came round the corner I would slow down, let my lungs fill and look around at the bright green farmlands or the fields covered in snow. No matter what; my tree was there. I'm programmed now to look for the tree, breathe and stop worrying for a moment.

Today the children were at home with Rob (Lord how they hate the dump! Why? They sit in the car and listen to music.) So I stopped an grabbed a few photos of why I love taking the long route into Greenfield.

My tree:

A guardrail lovingly decorated with petite colorful gourds

And a mailbox with one of my favorite numbers as I have written before in here. How could I not love it? Doreen Virtue says it means, "Thousands of angels surround you at this moment, loving and supporting you. You have a very strong clear connection with the angelic realm, and are an Earth angel yourself. You have nothing to fear-all is well."

A nice thought to think as I tool along, to and from town!

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Sleep pillows

I finally gathered all the ingredients for my sleep pillows.

I was going to order all the herbs from Mountain Rose Herbals, but shipping was expensive so, instead, I bought the lavender, chamomile and pink rose buds at the Brattleboro Food Co-op. The hops we grew ourselves this summer. The only thing I had to order was the Orris Root which is a natural fixative that helps retain the scent of the other herbs.

They all smell wonderful and a little seems to go a long way.

I sewed up the pillows when I was last at my parent's so all I have to do is stuff them and sew up the small filling hole.

An exciting find this weekend was a vial of Herkimer diamonds. Aren't they beautiful? I went to a gem and mineral show with the girls, thinking I would walk away with a bounty of really inexpensive quality crystals but it was expensive! My vial of Herkimer diamonds was 30$, which seemed OK because I had been planning on buying them for 1$ each at Silver Moon and the vial contains much more that 30. But still, nothing was dirt cheap like I had hoped when I dragged the family there in the rain. (Rob napped in the car; he couldn't bear to look at rocks in a gymnasium.)
Herkimer diamonds are a double terminated hard quarts from Herkimer County in New York. They are considered to be a dream stone, helping people to sleep and then to remember their dreams. It is recommended to put them under a pillow or in a pillowcase, so I thought it would be perfect to charge them on my Reiki grid with the intention of creating peaceful dreams and then sew them into my pillows.
I'm going to place the vial of stones on the grid tomorrow so I'll sleep with one under my pillow tomorrow night! We'll see what happens.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009


Lily found a red dragonfly on the sliding door screen this morning; dead and stiff.

Later, while I was in the shower, I heard her yell,"It's moving!"

When I came out it was trying to right itself, its tiny jointed legs slowly sliding on the table.

She made it a little nest of blue felt and gave it a fake hibiscus to make it feel more like home. We headed out to school.

When I got home the first thing I did was check out the corral and it was empty! I hadn't thought the dragonfly would rouse enough to escape. I looked around the dining room and found it on the window. It stayed there until Lily got home from school. She took it outside to let it go. It was warm out tonight so we thought it would be nice for it to have one more night outside. It flew away and then landed on the house.

Once, years ago, I brought a stiff bumble bee inside to draw its fuzzy form. I found it outside on a cold fall morning, sitting on a flower like it had died in the middle of eating. As the day wore on I heard a buzzing sound. When I investigated; I found it walking, determined, across the kitchen table.
So odd that things can seem so dead and then buzz to life with a little warmth.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Well, what's stopping you, then?

During the Reiki 3 training a few weeks ago, a group of us were talking about what year we had become nurses.
I said, "I had only planned on being a nurse for 10 years, but here I am, just finishing my 11th year.
One woman asked me,"What would you do instead?"
I answered, sort of flipply,"I'd be a fairy witch writer, living in the woods."
After I blurted it out; the conversation moved on.
Hours later, I was lying on the massage table, the same woman stood above me; about to begin a treatment on me. She mentioned something about me wanting to be a "Fairly rich writer living in the woods."
"No no," I protested. "You heard me wrong! I want to be a fairy witch writer living in the woods."
She stopped, puzzled; then mumbled "Well, that's much more interesting." and then looked down at me; a bit sternly and said, "Well, what's stopping you, then!?"

I had a wonderful relaxing treatment from her hands, all the while pondering her question.
Something about her attitude made me think. "Yeah, really, what's so hard about that? Get on with it?"

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Movie night

I got on-call for work on Saturday which meant I stayed home and kept the phone handy just in case a patient came in laboring.

It's fun to stay home unexpectedly.

Rob and I were able to straighten the messy house and make dinner, then I bought microwave popcorn at Mim's Market (we can't keep it in the house or Rob devours it!) and we had a movie night.

We all agreed on Muppet's Christmas Carol which the girls and I really love. It seemed a bit early for Christmas, but with the fire going and the lights on; we pulled it off. We had a splendid time. Lily loves Rizzo the rat and Georgia enjoys the music. We have to fast forward through the intense scary ghost parts.

Just as it finished, the phone rang. Rob said loudly, "Oh No! it's work! Oh no!" as he eyed the caller ID. I yelled, "Well, answer it!" and he picked up the phone like it was on fire and handed it to me. My co-worker said, "It's the dreaded phone call. We need you. Somebody's coming in, third baby, probably go quick." I answered as robot-like as I could, "I'll be right in." The expectation is that I will be at the hospital20 minutes from the phone call and I live 20 minutes away. I was bra-less and had severe hat-head. I usually don't get called in!

The children started wailing, "No mama! Don't go! You can't go Mama!" Georgia would have been fine, but if Lily loses it, she can't hold it together. They tried to out-emote each other, crying, holding onto me while Rob said things like, "Give me a break? What does work need you for?" He was mad because once the kids were in bed, we were going to watch a Mad Men and hang out.
Such a Bummer!
I put on presentable clothes, combed my hair with a wet brush and put the girls to bed in record time. Rob pulled it together enough to remind the girls how lucky we were to finish our fun movie and remind me I'd get paid time and a half for the three hours I would be there.
I sped there in the fog; ultimately getting there a long long hour before my patient finally arrived.

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Lily's around

But she hides from the camera. Here she is lunging under the table at Amy's. She is usually blurry. She's wearing her awesome $4 hat from Ocean State Job Lots where we went for the first time last weekend.

Here is a gorgeous art project she brought home. I love it so much, but it has two sides and I can't bear to put one against the wall.

How would I pick which one to see?

The one with the "time masen" (time machine) or the one with "cave with a shiny diamond."

So beautiful!

She is something else.

I opened the drawer looking for a spoon when I got home from work last night and found these firm reminders.
She does like some things to be just right.

She doesn't like to be late and, now that she can tell time; she watches the clock.
She missed the bus last week so now she wants to be out there, waiting on the hill, 20 minutes early.

Riveting to see how a child becomes herself; to wonder what you caused and what would have been there no matter what.....

Friday, November 13, 2009

Crow Lady Images

So a few months ago I discovered a beautiful blog at:

The images are so pleasing. I love the home she visits in this post and the things she chooses to photograph.

I started following Heidi on her blog

where she posts letters she finds in nature and the world, which make me laugh and now I look at branches and bottletops in different ways. She calls her children varmints which I think is just a great word.

Then she had a post about a logo workshop:

It was in June and I pondered it nervously for a month or longer and then I emailed her. Hooray! She was kind and professional and ready to help me! I wanted an image for my blog header and maybe a label for herbs and a business card?? Why not? What fun.
She asked me questions about what I wanted which really made me think about it. What did I want?
Something beautiful to put on my blue bottles filled with soon-to-be- made herbal concoctions. A lovely image to put on a tag for my dream and therapy pillows.
A business card that wasn't clip art.

She then send me a ton of great images, ideas, fonts, sizes and we narrowed it down.
It was so exciting to print out the four pages of possibilities. I carried it around with me and sneaked looks at it for a few days.
It made my dreams feel more concrete and validated to see images representing them in paper and ink.

Then I made the final choice (It was hard to choose!!)

I love it.
I'm working on getting the header to be a different color, but I love the writing and the crow.
I'm bringing the labels to the print shop soon.
I'll post photos of the labels once I get them printed on paper. I'm thinking maroon or blue stock.
Heidi is a busy graphic designer, mom and blogger. I am so thankful she generously took the time to create these perfect images for me.
Thank You Heidi!!

Wednesday, November 11, 2009


Butterscotch Butternut Cocoa
Baby Heart
Shooting Star
Snow (a reindeer)
Sour cream (A boy!)

Georgia has been tormenting us ever since she saw my friend's sweet little girl Mayumi in a slide show last week.
"I'm her." she declared.
and she stuck with it for a day or two.
They even tried to keep up at school, calling her Mayumi after she rejected the familiar Georgia. Her teacher helpfully wrote the new name down (because sometimes Georgia forgets her new name and then she is really miserable! "What's my name again? WHAT'S MY NAME??")

Then she switched to Butterscotch Butternut Cocoa and that was a bit much.
Now they're coming quicker and quicker so we have no time to adjust.
We're all sick of the tiny rejection you feel each time she responds to a loving inquiry with, "I'M NOT GEORGIA!"

So tonight she is sour cream, a boy.
Rob and Lily are sick of the whole game and are calling her Georgia.
I think sour cream is kind of fun, but I can't sustain any more switches.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

What Georgia does to fruit.

I don't know.

I ended up eating 3 apples and a pear today.

Here she caught me, distracted at the computer.
She took about 100 photos at short odd angles before I got the camera back and we went to pick up Lily.

Sunday, November 8, 2009

Look Park

for the weekend; more bike races and beautiful days!
Saturday the breezes were warm and sweet and the sun was shining. Ahhhhh.
Above is a photo of Georgia laying on me. She inquired, "Mama why is your nose have spider webs in it?" The sun-the nostril hair-the angle....I reassured her that spiders did not live in my nose.

Our friend Miranda brought warm morning buns from Bread Euphoria; heavenly.
The girls did cartwheels and somersaults and we pet many dogs.

Oh yeah, and Rob rode his bike!
Sunday our friend Julie and her boys came to cheer Rob on.
Here he is racing away....

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Fairy house

Lily and her friend worked on the Fairy house today; getting it ready for winter with cattail fluff galore!

Should be snow proof, too.

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Putney run-up

Here's Rob running up the hill at the Putney Vermont cyclocross race on November 1st (Note that yes, Devoted Wife that I am, I had been up all night working after trick or treating, slept for two hours and then drove 45 minutes to watch his race, then went home and fell promptly asleep while the rest of the family stayed at the races.)

Wow, I can't believe that dude can run up that hill with a bike on his shoulder! Go Rob!
Here's what Georgia had to say.
(Still very excited my camera does video but didn't realize I have to be aware of which angle I hold the camera while shooting or it is sideways on the screen. hmmmm I bet there's a way to fix it.)

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Where the hell is Matt?

Got this link from Marianne Williamson's Twitter.
(Twitter is growing on me.)

Rob and I stood here and watched it just before we tucked the girls into bed, first feeling amused and then suddenly both of us got weepy.
So lovely to see the world goofily dancing with this guy.
Made me want to travel again!


Monday, November 2, 2009

Clean room!

This is my girl's room when it is clean.
Ahhhh I feel so much better when they aren't living in a pit.
Now we just have to keep it clean.
(I should have a before photo to help you understand.)
It kills me that we spent our day off together cleaning this room; me bickering and nagging because they were whining and lying on their beds watching me as I put things away.

Sunday, November 1, 2009

Virgin Mary

I love stained glass.
This window is actually at Mesa Verde a Mexican restaurant in Greenfield.
But I have been thinking about heading into a church to find a shrine to the Virgin Mary after listening to a CD of Marianne Williamson from the library.
Someone from the audience asked for help dealing with an issue with her son. Marianne replied with these instructions,
"When it comes to mothers and children; there is no higher vibration than the Virgin Mary.
Go to a Catholic or Episcopal church.
Light a candle to Mary and surrender the child
to Mary
to overshadow your motherhood
you need a miracle
surrender to Holy Spirit
and ask for a miracle,
which is a divine intercession from a thought system beyond our own."

I'm uncomfortable with the Christian terminology, Christian churches and the Male god.
But I love the idea of sneaking in a visit to Mary
Who, of course, is the ancient mother goddess from the earlier religions.

Also, since my past life reading revealed a repeated history of monastic life; I have admitted a hidden love of stone churches, stained glass, and statues of Mary....

So, I'm on the lookout for a church with a nice shrine in a quiet corner where I could go light a candle to ask Mary for help in this amazingly wondrous and insanely difficult job of mothering.

I put this Patti Griffin song Mary on a recent mix.
It breaks my heart.
In a good way.